Hull Benediction
The classic rite. A walk of the hull, a word over the engines, and a blessing upon every bulkhead. Recommended for all new pledges and fresh claims.
Zero. We checked twice. 25,000 aUECMaiden Voyage Rite
Full ceremony before your ship's first flight. Includes christening, naming oath, and an escorted first quantum jump with prayers spoken over comms.
None, but very moving 75,000 aUECQuantum Safe Passage
A blessing upon your drive and your route. Ward against interdictions, rogue asteroids, and the dreaded 30k. (Results not guaranteed by any server.)
30k still happens 15,000 aUECFleet Consecration
For orgs and squadrons. Line up your ships on the pad and receive a mass blessing, group photo, and a recorded invocation for your org's archives.
Nothing, but in bulk 200,000 aUECHauler's & Miner's Grace
For those who work the belts and the trade lanes. May your cargo stay strapped, your rocks be rich, and your fracture never overcharge.
Rocks unaware 20,000 aUECLast Rites & Reclamation
Lost a ship? We honor her passing before the insurance claim goes through. A solemn send-off for the fallen hull and a blessing on her replacement.
Ship remains lost 10,000 aUEC| Stat | Unblessed Ship | Blessed Ship |
|---|---|---|
| Shield HP | Same | Same |
| Top speed | Same | Same |
| Chance of exploding at the pad | Yes | Also yes |
| Insurance claim time | Long | Equally long |
| Vibes | Normal | Immaculate |
| Bragging rights in global chat | None | Unlimited |
Results independently verified by nobody.
Does the blessing actually do anything?
No. Not even a little. We've tested it extensively and the server does not care. You can still buy it, though.
Then why would I pay for this?
Why does anyone put fuzzy dice in a spaceship? Because it feels right, and you have too much aUEC.
Will it stop me from getting ganked?
It will not. It may, however, make the gank feel more spiritually meaningful.
Is Quesadilla Blessings LLC a real company?
Define "real." Define "company." We are, however, definitely an LLC (the paperwork is somewhere in a Cutlass).
What's in the holy water?
We told you not to ask. Fine: it's mostly recycled water from a Carrack. Mostly.
Can I get a refund?
Blessings are non-refundable, non-transferable, and non-functional.
"Got my Hull Benediction on Tuesday. Haven't been ganked at a jump point since. Coincidence? I think not." — Freelancer captain, Stanton
"They blessed our whole org fleet at Lorville. Even the Cutlass that keeps losing its landing gear behaved." — Org quartermaster
"The Last Rites were beautiful. My Prospector deserved that." — Grieving miner, Aaron Halo
"I paid 75k for a guy to stand next to my ship and talk. Would do it again." — Satisfied customer, against all reason
"Exploded 40 seconds after the blessing. Quesadilla said that was 'part of the journey.'" — Former Hornet owner
"Literally useless. 10/10. My Caterpillar has never felt more seen." — Hauler, Crusader
It Does Nothing. You Want It Anyway.
Book your rite today. Walk-ins welcome when the chaplain isn't in a medbed. Meet us behind the hangar. Come alone.